When we left Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), Christian had just proposed and because we need a plot device for the third book/movie; Anna, against conventional wisdom said yes. Cue the wedding montage! Lurking in the shadows is Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), Anna’s former boss turned stalker after she rebuffed his sexual advances in the previous film. Controlling, almost to the point of paranoia, Christian’s legitimate concerns for Anna’s safety put a strain on their relationship. 

Far and away, the best of the trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed finally gets to a point where you say with confidence: “This doesn’t suck”! Be not mistaken, this is not a good movie. However, after completing the film trilogy certain truths become evident. This is not a 6 hour-long story. Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson have the on screen chemistry of a block of cheese and for its overhyped sexiness, no film of the three are actually titillating. The perceived sexiness seems to be written for people whom have never engaged in coitis. 

The biggest flaw in the Fifty Shades film franchise is, its shaky source material. Though we started with Christian Grey as a Bruce Wayne like character who’s into BDSM and Anastasia Steele as a Deer with average intelligence; both Johnson and Dornan finally get a chance to flex some of their acting muscles. Just as we begin to explore the difficulties of marriage as two very different personalities (Batman and Deer) come together in holy matrimony; the story doubles down on stupid by inserting Jack Hyde’s character into the fold. 

An unnecessary story arc that does more harm than good (to both characters and the audience), submarines what could’ve been a competent if bland story. The Fifty Shades trilogy finally stumbles clumsily across the finish line. A PG-13 drama with nudity that raises the stakes, superficially to an R rating. However, with a bit of clever editing, the trilogy could be a guilty pleasure. But the moment you start to be believe in it, you’re left with an unsatisfied feeling and one sad question. ‘Did you finish already’?

Verdict: D
Rated: R @ 105 minutes
NOTE: In IMAX where available

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